So. I’m back. Its been a while since I last posted anything and I have been working hard. The past few months have not been easy and I found myself going through some very dark days. I have lacked self confidence and found myself paralyzed to move forward with my life. Luckily I have been here before and I drew on all my experience to dig myself out of the self created hole.
I now have a chair in a local hair salon with a fantastically experienced hairdresser with the best taste in music and who is lovely to spend time with. www.stylebyjess.co.uk is moving in the right direction and I am building my confidence in my new creative career. The artwork has taken a back seat whilst I start to generate actual money to live on but once I am settled I can feel myself itching to make again.
My life has undergone a profound change these past few years and its been a long and painful process but one that had to happen in order to regain my sense of self. The depression I’ve just experienced had a lot in common with grief and I see it as a release of a lot of emotions which I had been holding in. I am now seeing life from a better perspective again and am trying not to ‘polerise’ everything, I am not ‘good’ or ‘bad’, I try to be comfortable with the idea that I am both. We are all imperfect and flawed, damaged and and can be damaging. Allowing ourselves to feel all these things instead of pushing them away allows us to move forward without fear of judgement, for we’ve already accepted the worst aspects of ourselves.